Finding his voice

April 15, 2008

Cory’s well into the babbling stage now, having mastered several syllables. Occasionally, in the middle of the nonsense, we hear something that both of us will swear is a word. He’s been saying “Mama” for some time. He hasn’t demonstrated a real understanding of the meaning of the word, and he doesn’t know how to stop saying it either (”Mamamamama”). I’ve heard a “Daddy” or two and even a “Hi Daddy” yesterday, although again, it’s hard to say if he’s hit on those syllables by chance, is merely mimicking, or actually has communicated what he wants to communicate.

Regardless, in those brief instances he ceases to “make noise” and suddenly “has a voice.” I didn’t even know I was making this distinction until it happened. It is deeply strange. If you had asked me a month ago if I knew Cory’s voice, I would have said “yes,” because I know what sounds he makes. But now that I’ve heard a word or two I can imagine him saying more words. I already know what he will sound like when he says them. He really does have a voice.

Over the last nine months Cory has gone from being a helpless newborn who can barely see past his nose to being a crawling imp who insists on getting his hands on everything and can express basic wants and needs. Throughout this process he’s felt less like a developing baby to me and more like a person coming into view. He’s been a part of this family since before there was a family, we just didn’t see him.

And even when he was born, he wasn’t actually here with us. It was like his luggage arrived ahead of him. It’s apparently a long, long trip. But right now it’s like he’s just around the corner. I can hear him. I can sometimes see him. He’s not quite here yet. But he’s on his way.

I will know when he gets here. When he does, he will say “hi.”

Posted in Daddyblog