Robocall

September 27, 2006

Update 11-06-2006: Someone has noted the behavior of folks like Jeff Johnson (below) and started using that to their advantage, intentionally making harassing robocalls that initially sound like they are coming from someone else.

You know what I hate? Phones. I realize this makes me a bad person, and I’m sorry for that, but I still hate them. In a world where so many other opportunities for communication exist, why do people still insist on using phones?

But you know what I hate more than phones? I hate phone calls that feature a tape recorder on the other end, and I’m not alone. At WTOPNews, a site not known for its in-depth articles, we get a Capitol News Service article about how people respond to campaign robocalls:

Though politicians say they only want to inform voters, many of those voters said they hang up immediately after they realize they are listening to a recording. Some said the calls changed their votes—that is, they were convinced to vote against robo-calling candidates as a kind of revenge. Elkridge resident Jeff Johnson, a Department of Defense employee, said he began writing down the names of candidates who sent him robo-calls so he could to vote for their opponents. [ Automated Calls Turn Off Voters ]

Before saying I sympathize with Mr. Johnson, let me just point out that voting on this of all issues is deeply irresponsible and an offense to all of the sacrifices made to create and preserve our democracy. It’s right up there with using the Founding Fathers’ pelvic bones for croquet wickets.

But I sympathize with Mr. Johnson. After all, the people in charge of the rollbacks are saying things like this:

[Jeffrey] Fournier, whose company serves hundreds of local, statewide and national campaigns, admitted the calls can be “offensive,” but said it’s not any more offensive than ads on television or radio. “An interruption is an interruption,” he said.

Yeah, right. A radio ad is to a robocall what a polite cough is to a kidney punch, and anyone who pretends otherwise needs to be far, far away from political office.

The phone rings and you swear, dropping the saucer you were washing where it shatters in the sink, grab a dishtowel and wipe soap suds all over it, step on the cat’s tail because she’s sitting there waiting to get fed off the now-shattered saucer, trip on the shoes you left in the hallway, take a deep breath, pick up the phone, and say in as friendly a voices as you can manage, “Hello?”

And then you feel like a fool, because you’re talking to a machine that can’t hear you, won’t respond, and apparently doesn’t even know you’ve hung up.

Because the calls are cheap—they typically cost about 5 cents a dial—and require almost no manpower, they are an appealing alternative to phone banks and campaigning door-to-door.

And that’s what’s so insulting about them; it says your time—and whatever you’re doing—is so much less important than theirs.

But how effective are they?

[Baltimore Mayor spokesman Richard] Abbruzzese said robo-calls are cheaper than campaigning by direct mail, television and radio. He knows robo-calling is successful, he said, because people turn out at campaign events after automated calls have been made in the area.

But…

Both the robo-callers and the campaigns they serve say they don’t know what percentage of their calls provoke an immediate hang up. Neither, they say, do they know how often and how strongly voters are swayed by the automated calls.

In other words, they don’t have any metrics to tell them whether or not the calls have a net beneficial effect.

I suspect—based on no evidence, which is approximately equivalent to the data the robo-call makers seem to have—that the robo calls are a scam perpetrated by marketers against political candidates.

You know, maybe we should vote based on who uses rollbacks and who doesn’t. If a candidate won’t demand better accountability from his or her campaign marketing consultants, why should we expect him or her to demand accountability from the President?

Posted in Politics, Speaking Very Slowly