This confusing election

February 24, 2004

I like this whole finding people with similar names to confuse your opponents thing. Maybe I’ll give it a shot.

T’BILISI GEORGIA—In what is turning out to be a confusing election season, even President George W. Bush today announced that he was no longer supporting himself for President of the United States.
“I don’t know,” Mr. Bush told reporters as he was dumping garbage into the back of a garbage truck. “I voted for Mr. Bush in 2000, but since then my network administration job has been exported to India and the only job I can find is banging trash can lids together at four in the morning.”
President Bush is not alone; this election year, many conservatives are defying convential wisdom and party loyalty by throwing in with the liberal candidates. For example, Congressman Dennis Hastert (R-Illinois) was reportedly handing out John Kerry bumperstickers on the campus of the State University of West Georgia, while nearby conservative commentator Ann Coulter chanted “no blood for oil!” “I mean, like, we have solar power and [stuff] now, right? Who needs this oil junk?” said Coulter.

Posted in Politics