He’s…nice.
So I used to spend a lot of time in college complaining about how girls weren’t interested in nice guys. I got to see a lot of women being stomped on, used, and abused by jerks in college and it never really made sense to me why nice guys didn’t see more action.
If I had seen “this article”:http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/realniceguys.shtml way back when, I probably wouldn’t have spent as much time worrying about girls not liking nice guys and a little more time figuring out my Data Structures homework.
Not that I wish my life was a lot different than it is now; as a result of not dating much, I came to my current relationship with precious little emotional baggage. I’m also marrying at a point in my life where I feel I’ve become pretty stable. A lot of people marry at 21 (or 19), but it seems to me that you still have a lot of growing up to do at that point. I’m marrying at 28. Being mostly single has been good to me.
I did, eventually, solve the “nice guy” problem on my own when I noticed the only constant factor in my failed relationships was that I had been selected by the girls in question, but I hadn’t done any vetting of the candidates myself. Once I learned how to say “no” without feeling like I was dooming my romantic prospects, once I decided that there were people beneath me or not worth my time, and once I decided that I was a human with my own desires, standards, and needs, and not some neglected can of potatoes on a grocery store shelf I found a great and wonderful woman. Someone I like spending a lot of time with. Someone who treats me with kindness and respect. And you can bet your sweet bippy when I met her I played “kind guy” rather than “nice sacrifical lamb” that time; I was pretty much through with the door-mat impersonation.
But hey. I’m me. Your results may vary.
