Wait for the “bling.”

November 29, 2005

The general problem with “speaking in a language kids can understand” is kids generally understand plain English just fine, thank you. So result of trying to slangify your message tends to come across like this:

p=. !/textpattern/images/31.jpg (Pro-Abstinence: Wait for the Bling)!

??Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon??

I know exactly what went on at the conference table when this ad was discussed. Someone says “we need a bilboard that says ‘wait until you are married’ that will appeal to today’s youth, ’cause the message ain’t hip.” And someone else says “well, ‘bling’ is hot, and you get a ring, we can say ‘wait for the bling.’ Kids are always saying ‘bling.’”

Let’s imagine four potential audience members:

A kid who’s on the chastity wagon: She’s going to look at this, parse the intent as “wait until you are married,” and go around saying “I’m waiting for the bling.” Making her sound like a whore instead of a good Christian girl.

Your average skeptical girl: She’s going to look at the ad, parse the intent as “wait until you are married,” and say “these Christian wackjobs are patronizing _and_ unhip.”

Someone who *is* persuaded by the message, but doesn’t grasp the subtext: She going to feel encouraged to marry the richest man she can. This is probably not the most desireable result — money is one of the worse ways to choose a mate. It’s also scary close to prostitution.

Someone who gets ideas: “Yeah, what should I give away that I can charge for?” she says. And if she plays her cards right, she can have *lots* of guys giving her *lots* of “bling,” and none of them will expect her to change a diaper.

All around, this strikes me as a net loss for Iowa’s Abstinence Mission. They’ve made themselves sound like pimps, encouraged their base to sound like whores, suggested to a handful of folks that prostitution (under exclusive contract or not) is a admirable lifestyle.

To everyone else, they look stupid. Of course, there might not be a net change there… because the chastity crowd is _always_ doing stupid stuff like this.

Posted in Sex