Dumbest comment thread on the Internet

That might be overstating it a bit, but the comments on this post about pet rocks never quite reaches Beevis & Butthead quality thought. The post itself seems pretty interesting except for one paragraph in the middle where the author attempts to explain the appeal of the pet rock, but instead sounds like a spam blog:

Part of Dahl’s marketing strategy was to state that pet rocks give us more pleasure than we know. He convinced the consumer that these pet rocks support this argument through their very existence, and clearly display that it is not an actual item that brings joy to the child in the human mind, but merely the idea of the item. The pet sits in a niche in the mind, created by the power of the owners’ imaginations. It is in the actual exercise of the mind that such pleasure is found. [ Pet Rock That Made Man A Multi-Millionaire In 6 Months Lives On ]

Perhaps what the writer at PetsDo was trying to say is that the the Pet Rock was a joke. Buying the rock let people participate in the joke, pass the joke around, and tell the joke to others. Gary Dahl’s genius appears to have been the packaging design and the book that went along with the rock, which is what turned it from a rock into a joke.

Of course, he might also have been trying to say “pet rocks are the advance invasion force of our future alien overlords.” Kinda hard to tell.

Oh, Here’s a sample comment:

What the hell? who would buy a fukin rock?!?!?

That’s someone who doesn’t get the joke. Also:

Well all you folks that find this amazing are the same ones that pay $1.00-$2.00 for a bottle of water..????

Oh, there you go.. save the bottles and you can have your very own “Pet Bottle”

That’s someone else who doesn’t get the joke. And:

The ability to convice [sic] consumers to pay a premium over what essentially can be found for free is the power of marketing. The Beanie Baby fad was exactly the same thing only crazier.

Visit http://www.newlifeauctions.com to learn how to start a successful eBay business.

That’s someone who’s advice I’ll never take on marketing. Beanie babies were the same as pet rocks? What?

Well, everything sales[sic] in America. One could sale[sic] crap there and say it is martian soil. People are really stupid there.

Here’s a tip. When acting intellectually superior try not to use nouns for verbs.

Between the commenters and the pet rocks, I think the rocks are smarter.