Yippie Skippy Liberals
I haven’t wanted to write about the “lefties don’t understand capturing Saddam is a good thing” because it makes me cross-eyed-angry. Of course we think it’s a good thing. So far I haven’t heard anyone say it’s a bad thing.
But it’s not really about “being happy” Saddam was captured. We’re all happy. The Right is upset that we’re not “happy enough.” Apparently, the Right thinks the capture of Saddam should be sufficient evidence that he was right at we were wrong about everything else.
But we’re not so thrilled that we’re going to take such complete leave of our senses.
Honestly, how excited should we really be? At a time when all the attention of the world was focused on Al Queda and Osama bin Laden, Bush decided to tilt at the windmill that is Iraq. Never mind that it was an evil windmill; it was a windmill nonetheless.
“Bush, why are you attacking that windmill?” we asked.
“There are weapons of mass destruction inside! Might hurt someone!” he said.
“But, but! Terrorists! Caves! Secret training camps and people who have small nukes in their Nikes!” we said.
“Evil man! Kills his own people!” he said.
“But! But! Billionaire Islamic fundamentalist! Uses his own people as missiles! Kills us! ” we said.
“Osama and Saddam Sitting In A Tree!” he said.
And as we stood there, frankly dumbfounded, Bush attacked that windmill with an incredible fury. Meanwhile he forget to budget money to ensure Afghanistan did not deteriorate into the kind of chaos that gave the Al Queda room to hide in the first place.
Now, to our admitted surprise, Bush has managed to knock the windmill down by capturing Saddam. Are there weapons of mass destruction inside? Not that we can see. (”I said ‘programs,’ says Bush, ‘you just didn’t hear me over the noise of the windmill.’) Saddam did kill his own people, but many other such evil windmills still stand. And we are pleased and happy and excited this windmill won’t be killing other people, yes. But we’re still a little concerned about Osama bin Laden.
“Americans now safer!” Bush said, wiping his brow.
Yes, thank you. That’s very nice. You’ve managed to save us from a windmill, not the troll hiding in the ditch.
Not a good enough metaphor for you?
While we’re staring at an enormous monster with eyes of flame, our Hero Bush has come to our rescue by killing a malaria-carrying mosquito. Yes! It might have killed us! Much later than the monster with eyes of flames, but the thought was nice! Thank you!
Maybe you’re not the fantasy type. So:
While we’re nervously trying not to make eye-contact with the murderer holding a gun to our nose, our faithful pit-bull Spike knocks over every lamp in the house, breaks every vase, and starts several small fires chasing a squirrel. Oh look! Spike caught a squirrel that may or may not have been rabid! Good boy Spike!
Ladies and gentlemen of the Right, the reason many of us opposed the war on Iraq was not because we didn’t think Bush could do it. It was not because we’re opposed to protecting the weak. It was not because we have a special, semi-erotic affinity for evil windmills, malaria-bearing mosquitoes, or potentially-rabid squirrels.
It was because we were more or less concerned about something else. Something we felt was much more important. In other words, it is a question of priority.
Bush knocked down his windmill, and good on him. But it was still a windmill, and we are still not impressed. On any other day, when there were no trolls, monsters with eyes of flame, or vicious murderers we might have been.
But not today, as we have other things on our mind.
