I used to have friends who worked at a Pizza Hut that had the phone number of a former limo company. The often had this sort of call.

ring ring
“Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. Can I take your order?”

“Hi, I need a limo for next Saturday at 8pm.”

“Uh, okay.” They’d proceed to take all the info, figuring if the guy was dumb enough not to listen to the original greeting, he deserved it!

Ring Ring

Me: Hello?

Obnoxious Twit: Simcox Landscaping?

Me: Uh, no.

OT: This isn’t Simcox Landscaping?

Me: No.

OT: Are you sure?

Me: Yes, I’m sure. This is a residential num–

OT: What is the number, please.

Me: xxx-xxx-xxxx.

OT: Well, that’s what I have here in the computer for Simcox Landscaping.

Me: Well, this is a residenti–

OT: Is Mr. Simcox there?

Me: No, there is no one here by that name! This is a resid–

OT: Okay, fine. Goodbye. (Hangs up)

It was only after she hung up that I realized that what I should have said was, “Oh, it’s in your computer? Well, in that case, you’re right. I forgot, we ARE Simcox Landscaping! And what can I help you with today?” Then proceeded to do business, tally up an order, etc. Then, when she called to find out why her order of shrubs or whatever hadn’t come in, I just answer the phone “Vandelay Industries!”

Caution: The last line contains a Seinfeld reference.