Number Ones

Date September 6, 2008

I suspect I will regret this, but I’ll follow my brother and play this game. Here are the rules:

Go here and see what was on the top of the charts on the day you were born and every birthday thereafter. Learn just how astrologically-musically lame your life has been. If you want, add in your own favorite Hot 100 hit single of that year, wishing that your birthday had been cool enough to have that song be #1.

  • 1974: “Annie’s song,” John Denver. Favorite: “Kung Fu Fighting,” Carl Douglas
  • 1975: “One of These Nights,” the Eagles. Favorite: “Pick Up the Pieces,” the Average White Band
  • 1976: “Kiss and say Goodbye,” the Manhattans. Favorite: “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” Paul Simon. Looks like ‘76 was dull.
  • 1977: “I Just Want to Be Your Everything,” by Andy Gibb. Favorite: “Car Wash” by Rose Royce.
  • 1978: “Shadow Dancing” by Andy Gibb. Favorite: “MacArthur Park” by Donna Summer.

OK, we have to take a little break here. WTF is an “Andy Gibb”? Ah, I see. The youngest, non-Bee Gee Gibb brother. “MacArthur Park” is a default favorite since it’s got such inscrutable silly lyrics:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark,
All the sweet green icing flowing down.
Someone left the cake out in the rain,
And I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again,
Oh no.

  • 1979: “Bad Girls” Donna Summer. Favorite: “Heart of Glass,” Blondie
  • 1980: “Magic”, Olivia Newton John. Favorite: “Another Brick in the Wall Part II,” Pink Floyd
  • 1981: “Jessie’s Girl,” Rick Springfield. Favorite: “I Love a Rainy Night,” Eddie Rabbit
  • 1982: “Eye of the Tiger,” Survivor. Favorite: “Centerfold,” J. Geils Band
  • 1983: “Every Breath You Take,” Police. Favorite: Billie Jean, Michael Jackson
  • 1984: “When Doves Cry,” Prince. Favorite: “Ghostbusters,” Ray Parker Jr.
  • 1985: “Every Time You Go Away,” Paul Young. Favorite: “Money for Nothing,” Dire Straits.

“Money for Nothing” is still one of my favorite songs. It’s one of the few on this list so far that I have.

  • 1986: “Glory of Love,” Peter Cetera. Favorite: “Walk Like an Egyptian,” the Bangles.
  • 1987: “Shakedown,” Bob Seger. Favorite: “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” U2

Getting into the high-school years for me now.

  • 1988: “Roll With It,” Steve Winwood. Favorite: “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses.
  • 1989: “Toy Soldiers,” Martika. Favorite: “Good Thing,” Fine Young Cannibals. This was the Milli Vanilli year.
  • 1990: “She Ain’t Worth It,” Glenn Medeiros featuring Bobby Brown. Favorite: Ice Ice Baby, Vanilla Ice.
  • 1991: “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You,” Bryan Adams. Favorite: “Joyride,” Roxette.

I graduated in 1991. I stand by the Vanilla Ice choice. for my analysis of “Ice Ice Baby,” see Too Cold, Too Cold.

  • 1992: “Baby Got Back,” Sir Mix-a-Lot. Favorite: the same!
  • 1993: “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by UB40. Favorite: Poking my eyes out.
  • 1994: “I Swear,” All-4-One. Favorite: “The Sign,” Abba Ace Of Base
  • 1995: “Waterfalls,” TLC. Favorite: “Creep,” TLC
  • 1996: “You’re Makin’ Me High” / “Let It Flow,” Toni Braxton. Favorite: “No Diggity,” Blackstreet.
  • 1997: “I’ll Be Missing You,” Puff Daddy. Favorite: ugh.

I think this is about the time I start losing the pop music thread. When people say “when did you decide not to be hip,” I will say “Puff Daddy. I didn’t leave hip, hip left me.”

  • 1998: “The Boy Is Mine,” Brandy and Monica. Favorite: “One Week,” Barenaked Ladies
  • 1999: “Genie in a Bottle,” Christina Aguilera. Favorite: “Smooth,” Santana
  • 2000: “It’s Gonna Be Me,” ‘N Sync. Favorite: “Smooth” again.
  • 2001: “U Remind Me,” Usher. Favorite: “It Wasn’t Me,” Shaggy.

Pity me, I am really stretching here to find a song that doesn’t immediately trigger a gag reflex.

  • 2002: “Hot in Herre,” Nelly. Favorite: “The Surrey with the Fringe on Top,” Miles Davis.
  • 2003: “Crazy in Love,” BeyoncĂ© featuring Jay-Z. Favorite: “The Purple People Eater,” Sheb Wooley
  • 2004: “Confessions Part II,” Usher. Favorite: “I’d Rather Have A Bottle In Front of Me (than a Frontal Lobotomy),” Randy Hanzlick.

Other hit songs for 2004 were “Hey Ya,” “Yeah,” “Goodies,” and “My Boo,” which suggest to me that pop rock devolved into near monosylabic grunts.

  • 2005: “We Belong Together,” Mariah Carey. Favorite: “Hollaback Girl,” Gwen Stefani.
  • 2006: “Promiscuous,” Nelly Furtado. Favorite: whimper
  • 2007: “Hey There Delilah,” Plain White T’s. Favorite: Sean Kingston? Kill me now.
  • 2008: “I Kissed a Girl,” Katy Perry. Favorite: I haven’t even heard any of these.

I wrote about the experience of listening to top-40 radio in 2007 here: Popular Culture No Longer Applies to Me.

Nukes? No Nukes?

Date September 5, 2008

One of things I disagree with Barak Obama on is that we need more nuclear power plants. I think it’s a bad idea, but Obama committed to building more in his acceptance speech. So I was a little surprised to hear that Obama is being slammed for opposing the construction of nuke plants:

Last week, in his acceptance speech, Barack Obama explained, “As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power.” It was entirely consistent with the line Obama has taken throughout the campaign — while Edwards took a firm stand against nuclear power, and Clinton was largely agnostic on the subject, Obama always expressed a degree of openness to the idea.

It’s odd, then, that one of the major talking points from the McCain campaign is to attack Obama’s “opposition” to nuclear power, despite the fact that Obama has said the opposite. [ Going Nuclear ]

I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because Obama said “safe nuclear power” and, like me, McCain thinks that’s the same as “no nuclear power at all.” So perhaps McCain supports building unsafe nuclear power plants?

It is a puzzlement.

Savior

Date September 5, 2008

Republicans like to pretend that Obama thinks of himself in religious, savior-like terms. The same way they like to pretend criticism of Palin is sexist, criticism of Clarence Thomas was a “digital lynching,” and criticism of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars were both racist and sexist.

But Hilzoy observes:

There is also only one candidate whose speech gave the impression that simply by arriving in a place he has actually inhabited for several decades and deploying the force of his character in its general direction, he will change “the way government does almost everything”. The other one gave us not a just promise to stand up to special interests, or to show backbone and not back down, but specifics about what, exactly, he planned to do, while reminding us not just that our country was great, but why. [ Watch What They Do, Not What They Say ]

Sometimes I think the Republicans accuse us of the things they do themselves in order to disguise their actions.

One way to make abortion the more attractive choice

Date September 3, 2008

Slash funds providing resources for teenage mothers:

ST. PAUL — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee who revealed Monday that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, earlier this year used her line-item veto to slash funding for a state program benefiting teen mothers in need of a place to live.

After the legislature passed a spending bill in April, Palin went through the measure reducing and eliminating funds for programs she opposed. Inking her initials on the legislation — “SP” — Palin reduced funding for Covenant House Alaska by more than 20 percent, cutting funds from $5 million to $3.9 million. Covenant House is a mix of programs and shelters for troubled youths, including Passage House, which is a transitional home for teenage mothers. [ Washington Post ]

Look, it’s simple. When you cut programs for teenage and single mothers, when you eliminate or drastically reduce the resources available to them, and when you force them out of school and into the workplace, you make abortion a more attractive option. Whether or not it is legal, you make abortion a more attractive option. For the women who choose to carry the child to term, you make their lives much more difficult, which then makes the lives of their children much more difficult, narrows their opportunities in life, and increases the chance that the child will not have what he or she needs to grow up smart, strong, and sane.

The only argument for withholding services from teenage and unwed mothers is that providing those services somehow encourages more risky behavior. But if you make that argument, what you are saying is that the child is appropriate economic punishment for the mother. You have stopped caring about the child. You have sacrificed the child’s future to make a moral point to other not-pregnant girls.

That is not “family values.” That is despicable.

Separated by mere reality

Date September 2, 2008

A friend says Sarah Palin reminds her of Professor Umbridge from the Harry Potter books.

Considering that she once asked a librarian how to go about banning books, I can see her point.